Fact, fiction, or funny
News from the campaign trail:
The Kerry campaign in an effort to revitalize their slumping poll numbers have introduced a new slogan, " Drink Til You Want Me!". It seems to be working. Our reporter caught up with Pete Coors, republican candidate for the senate in Colorado and he confirmed, " business has really picked up for us with particular increases in the states of NY and MA, two strong holds for Kerry". Our reporter has been seeing an increasing amount of Kerry senior campaign staff, of which there are an estimated 250 and growing, drowning their daily sorrows in drink. We will be watching closely for any other interesting trends.
WORKING PEOPLE FREQUENTLY ASK RETIRED PEOPLE WHAT THEY DO TO MAKE
> THEIR
> > > DAYS INTERESTING.
> > >
> > > I WENT TO THE STORE THE OTHER DAY. I WAS ONLY IN THERE FOR ABOUT 5
> > > MINUTES.
> > >
> > > WHEN I CAME OUT THERE WAS A CITY COP WRITING OUT A PARKING TICKET.
> > >
> > > I WENT UP TO HIM AND SAID, "COME ON, BUDDY, HOW ABOUT GIVING A
SENIOR
> A
> > > BREAK?" HE IGNORED ME AND CONTINUED WRITING THE TICKET.
> > >
> > > I CALLED HIM A NAME. HE GLARED AT ME AND STARTED WRITING ANOTHER
> TICKET
> > > FOR HAVING WORN TIRES.
> > >
> > > SO I CALLED HIM A WORSE NAME. HE FINISHED THE SECOND TICKET AND PUT
> IT
> > > ON THE WINDSHIELD WITH THE FIRST.
> > >
> > > THEN HE STARTED WRITING A THIRD TICKET.
> > >
> > > THIS WENT ON FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES. THE MORE I ABUSED HIM THE MORE
> > > TICKETS HE WROTE.
> > >
> > > I DIDN'T CARE. MY CAR WAS PARKED AROUND THE CORNER AND THIS ONE
> > >
> > > HAD A "ELECT JOHN KERRY" BUMPER STICKER ON IT
> > >
> > > I TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN EACH DAY NOW THAT I'M RETIRED.
> > >
> > > IT'S IMPORTANT AT OUR AGE.
In an effort to be balanced (yeah right)
One sunny day in 2005 an old man approached the White House from across
Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke
to
the U. S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and
meet
with President Bush."
The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer
president
and no longer resides here."
The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to
the
same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president
and no
longer resides here." The man thanked him and, again, just walked
away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the
very same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with
President Bush."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and
said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to
speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you already that Mr.
Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you
understand?"
The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just
love
hearing it."
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow."
You have to check out this link to JibJab.com! A great suggestion from my Uncle Richie! Cooking with Clinton!!! They have some hysterical cartoons!
