 | | | | Articles in this issue: | |  The weeks most interesting
Original Music Scene
Common sense?
| Did you know?
Fact, fiction, or funny
Opinion
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| | | | | From the editor:  This will be the last edition until January 7th. I can hear the sighs of relief disappointment. So we will keep this edition light hearted (a person generally flushed and happy from recent alcohol consumption). I will be enjoying Christmas and New Years with the family. I was thinking the other day about how many great people I have the honor of calling a friend, and the family I am blessed to be a part of. As I started thinking of them and their achievements in life, I couldn't help but feel such pride. So I thought I would share with you some of the gifts my friends and family have brought to this world. There are so many so I can't list them all but here are a few. No names just relationships but you know who you are! I am proud; of the way my wife keeps us organized and fluid all the time; the people my kids are growing up to be; a sister who has raised 3 great kids on her own; a sister that has 4 children and has schooled them herself; a brother that went back to college and is climbing to the top of the corporate ladder; friends that adopted a beautiful child and we are watching her grow into a beautiful person; a cousin that works in Washington DC, and is influential in the history of our country; a cousin that owns 2 restaurants and holds another full time job; a cousin that is on Law and Order almost every week now and has many credits to his name including really white teeth; a friend that picked up the guitar recently and is already playing like a pro; a friend that is determined to make his living in music and he is; a number of cousins that went back to school and are now making their mark on the world; cousins that have chosen the police; fire, and military, and nursing ; an uncle that has been like an older brother to me that conquered the technology world and now does whatever he pleases, including running his son's restaurant's; an uncle that retired the #2 man at a fortune 500 company; an uncle that spent his life in secrecy at the FBI and is now out in the open, retired; a cousin that after conquering Wall Street became a Doctor and now has her own practice; to all of my cousins that are married raising our next generation of family "stars"; my in-laws that took a little liquor store and turned it into a successful wine empire; a sister and brother in-law that have taken my children in as their own; parents that have dedicated their life to my brother Phil and sister Gena. We should all be proud of the little things we do like being a great role model or just being there. I am proud to know you all! It's amazing when you think about all the people around you and how many lives we impact in a way we may never know. Now some of you know. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Chanukah, to all and to all; see you January 7th! Thanks for your few minutes of support each week! If you missed the first 19 editions of SoundCheck don't fret. Just go to www.richhandband.com and go to the R.O.T. tab and click on the link for any edition you would like to see. Send us your news, funny stories, or anything you think your friends would find enjoyable. Please only G, PG, or PG13 material. As a favor, We are asking you to forward this newsletter to a friend. Your help is appreciated! Kind Regards, Rich Hand Flounderer and CEO My Opinion click here... | | | | The weeks most interesting Once again, The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate word meanings.
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Thanks Aunt (secret marriage) Dot; Merry Christmas! 
Original music scene & not so original... The "Gazette" Review : "Something 4 Everyone" - Click here to read the entire review!!
Common sense? 
It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore; Can't we all just get along?
Fact, fiction, or funny "Central Florida Man Accused Of Biting His Dog" You can't make this stuff up folks!! PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING.
IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS!
IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BE RETOUCHED NOR CORRECTED.
INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN
>1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
>2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
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>3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
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>4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
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>5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
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>6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
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>7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
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>8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
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>9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
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>10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
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>11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
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>12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
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>13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
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>14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
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>15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
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>16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
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>17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
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>18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
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>19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
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>20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
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>21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
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>22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
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>23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
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>24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
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>25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY
Dear JibJabbers,
What a year it’s been! Thanks to you for passing our links all over the Interweb, our election work was seen over 80 million times! This has opened up a number of doors for us, including a deal with Yahoo! to distribute our next two animations.
We are pleased to announce the launching of our latest creation, Santa Claus!, featuring our ornery but loveable Santa coping with a massive financial crisis.
Many an all-nighter has been pulled to get this to you in time for the holidays- our only hope is that you enjoy it. For those of you wondering what’s next… we’re in production on an inaugural piece and we have high hopes that it’s going to make you laugh. Check out our blog in a few weeks for a sneak peek. As always, thanks for your support. You’ve helped make 2004 the most incredible (and surreal) year of our lives.
Happy holidays,Grevan
JibJab Media Inc.
December 15, 2004 |
You have to check out this link to JibJab.com! A great suggestion from my Uncle Richie! Cooking with Clinton!!! They have some hysterical cartoons!
E-Mail Subscription Manager manage your eNewsletter subscriptions 
The "SoundCheck" newsletter may contain links to sites on the Internet, which are owned and operated by third parties. The "SoundCheck" is not responsible for the content of any such third-party site. The "SoundCheck" copyright 2004. All rights reserved. Did you know? Santa has 2 sleighs; one for men and one for women. The difference being in the glove compartment one has a map that is never used and the other has GPS. You figure out which is which. Theology of Children 1.Dear God, please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There
is nothing good in there now. Amanda 2. Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I asked for was a
puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Joyce
3. Dear Mr. God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come
apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot. Janet
4. Dear God, please send Dennis Clark to a different camp this year. Peter 5. Dear God, if you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.
Barbara 6. Dear God, is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him
through the business? Donny
7. Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I
just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are
already God. Charles 8. Dear God, I am doing the best I can. Really, Frank
9. Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset
you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool. Thomas | |  |
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